Well, I wanted to do that ages ago, but I FINALLY deleted several deviations from this account. There is a lot of stuff I really hate which is still online, but they're some gifts or requests I made so I did not delete them yet. I'll do it in a few days, so if you want to save them for yourself, then do it quickly.

I did not post anything "good" for a long time, and I don't think I'll do it soon. In fact, I'm actually unable to draw or write something acceptable enough to be posted, and it's slowly driving me mad.

I can't really explain what's happening, and it's pretty awfull to be honest. I love drawing. It's something relaxing and it helps to "empty" your head when you're thinking to much. I really started drawing when I was 13 years old, and I'm currently 24. I'm quite shy and untalented, so I was really glad to realize I could be "good" in something I loved that much. I loved drawing for other peoples because it's silly, but I think I liked the fact they "praised" my modest skills. I never was a very remarkable personn, so it was unusual for me to be acknowledged.

That's perhaps why I never succeded to improve my skills. People are supposed to become better and better with time, but it was not my case. My art changed, but never improved. It was not important at first, but now I'm just lost. I hate everything I'm making, and I don't even know why. I always knew my "art" was very poor, and it never bothered me before because just holding a pen and let it runs on paper made me happy. Now, it's just making me awfully sad.

I'm really affraid. I'm a bad drawer, I know this, but still I loved it so much. It's part of my life, and I'm affraid I'll never find it as relaxing and peacefull as before. I'm not an artist, I wanted to be one when I was younger but now I know I don't have the brain and the skill for that. Still, I liked creating things, I don't want to loose that. But I can feel it slowly "dying", and it's killing me.

Sorry, emo entry is emo. I can't really talk about this with my friends, because they never liked this kind of thing, so they'd not understand. But having written this made me feel better.